1 Comment Written by Fiona Loughnane on April 10, 2009 – 1:35 pm

‘JCVD’. Heard of it? New Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? No? Don’t care? Well I’m here to let you know that you should care.

There comes a time in all good boys’ and girls’ lives when Van Damme is watched, and despite all reason, enjoyed. Now, however, there is actually a reason to enjoy a Van Damme movie. And that is because ‘JCVD’ is really fucking good! So good in fact that I have even forgiven him for the utter torture that is his movie ‘Cyborg’… shudder…

And in case you are still not convinced that you do need to go and see it (despite the fact that you should all just do what I say) here are ten reasons to see ‘JCVD’:

1. This is an honest-to-god art-house, subtitled, funny, touching, clever, and did i mention really fucking funny, film.

2. Seriously, how could you not want to see a dirty old action-hack take the mickey out of himself? In a time when Stallone and the other action zeros are trying to reach their former glory, Van Damme is the only one who has the humour to realise how truly ridiculous that is.

3. This movie contains the ultimate conclusion to years of ‘yo mumma’ jokes.

4. In one part he has a beard and is wearing orange overalls. Hilarious.

5. There is an insane monologue.

6. This movie has induced reviews with amazing ingenuity, such as ‘van dammit, the man can act’, ‘the most  scab-pulling performance’ and ‘jean-claude kicks his own ass’. Special.

7. - 10. Ok so i got bored thinking of stuff. Just go see the fucking movie.

There isn’t actually an Australian release date for ‘JCVD’, but keep an eye out kiddies.